I am scared of a long life!

I am scared of getting old. Not because of anything else but because i hate to face death, scared to see my loved ones go! And today beyond any doubt i really do not want to live long, to see people whom i love and cherish so much depart before my eyes. Today is the day that i have lost one of my most special friend TG, that’s what i used to call her.

TG and I were colleagues, we used to teach in the same school. Though way ahead of me in terms of experience, wisdom and years of course, i bonded with her like i would with any of my peers. She was a fountain of knowledge and an epitome of dignity. Most importantly as i fumbled and tumbled in my first job she was my veritable reservoir of comfort at the workplace. I always found her buried under books or always in a kind of rush but she had the twinkle in her eyes and a moment to spare. That’s all that ever matters. Some moments.

Though she had a family of her own and her other responsibilities, TG never hesitated to take over more. Anyone who knew her would have known her large heart and a very humble person at the core.

She was a teacher of English and the command she had over the language and the diction with which she spoke was truly inspiring. Truly TG inspired all her students, her classes were fun and all her students loved her. Her love of the language spilled over and was truly infectious.

There are many memories of TG that keeps revolving in my head. But the one which truly touched me was this one time. I love chocolates and after a lot of research i learned that ‘Godiva’ the Belgian chocolate was truly the one to savor. In my many conversations with TG i kept telling her about it. So, one fine day as i entered the staff room after my lessons were over, TG brought out a box filled one of the most expensive chocolates in the world. With a smile she told me that here is Godiva, take a piece. I was overwhelmed. Very few people in this world would go beyond their normal relations and duties to do something for a person whom they just befriended. TG was one such special person. She did many things for many, went beyond duties and protocols to make someone feel special.

As i progress in years, i realize the world do gets more and more difficult to get by. To make one’s life richer one does not need wealth, one truly needs real people with whom they share a special rapport or a warm bond. Visiting places, acquiring wealth are important but what’s more important than that is to be surrounded by people whom you love and who loves you in return, no matter what. My circle shrinks a great deal more as i lose TG and no one can truly be replaced. I am scared of being left alone and unloved, i am scared of living long and seeing my loved ones go. May her soul rests in peace as i promise to meet her one time on the other side of the rainbow.

 

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