One day I felt lonely, the loneliness enveloped me like a shroud, cocooned me and comforted me and I got lost in the dark. It took me years to find my way back at the cost of precious time, friendships, self-esteem and opportunities lost.
One day I met a man and another, I was elated and decide to play safe. My heart said one thing but my head said another. I chose my head over my heart as of course that organ led me to darkness once….remember! Till date that decision cost me my everything, my happiness, companionship, my identity and my goals.
One day I decided enough it was and I wanted to move out….a little hand held onto me, tears streaming down her eyes, pleading ‘Don’t go!’ I stopped myself and waited for that little being to grow and bided my time.
One day COVID struck, the world shut down and life as we knew it, changed forever.
As I take one day at a time I realise how difficult it is to live in the present, I still watch the hours tick by, I still look at the next day. In the process I have forgotten to be happy, forgotten to live and have this gripping anxiety always. Be happy now, seems like an innocuous phrase but now is always linked to the past, paving way for the future. If the past is a dream and the future is hazy, what should I be happy about today, not knowing what is going to hit us the next moment?
pulsingthoughts 