You might be wondering ‘There another piece on a time and tested topic’….Well you are correct this is another perspective that i seek to draw between marriage and kids.
The Indian society at large believes, expounds and follows that kids should be the inevitable result of a marriage. They bring the partners together as they participate in the act of parenting together. However i do beg to differ, though kids are a natural outcome of marriage yet they are unpredictable and cannot guarantee a stronger bond between the partners.
Taru’s parents were the average Indian they believed in marriage and thereafter kids. But Taru was having a tough time. Within a year of her marriage she discovered that she was completely incompatible with her partner. They had different likes, different temperaments, different priorities. What is considered a rosy period turned into a stormy one for her. Yet she had no way out, she had married well inspite of coming from a not-so-financially strong background. Her husband was a mild mannered man and provided her with a lot of comforts. However she was sad and unable to connect with him on any ground.
Their first year marriage anniversary was approaching and Taru was dreading it. She wanted to break out of the shackle and run free, do what she wants and embrace life fully. But the uncertainty scared her, Taru did not have the guts, simply!
So there she was sitting in her parents house trying to explain her situation. Even after an hour of talk, her parents believed that the marriage would work. Time was the key. A year is not enough to judge a relationship, they felt. A few more debates and Taru’s mother concluded that definitely a child of their own would help.
Taru was not convinced she was always a very practical person and knew her mind. A child! In this mess! Her mind kept questioning. However she could not express this to her parents, their fervent eyes and pleading voice did not help the matter further.
She celebrated her first marriage anniversary in the best possible way.
She became a mom another year later.
She was still unhappy.
Taru had a baby girl. She named her ‘Sukanya’. She was a joy and hope for Taru. But as far as her marriage was considered it was finished in her mind. The child brought a lot of love out of Taru but it also contributed to distancing Taru and her husband even further.
They had more conflicts and the issues were more serious now…parenting, lifestyle, jobs, etc.
In the course of having her child Taru had to give up on her well-paying job and become a stay-at-home mom. She took that job very seriously, after all the little one was a deliberate choice and should be given the best possible treatment.
But this also made Taru financially more insecure and more dependent on her husband. The chances of breaking free was diminishing everyday!
Sukanya was growing up fast and transformed from a chubby infant to a bubbly toddler. The day soon came when Taru enrolled Sukanya into a nearby school. Taru loved to be with Sukanya. However she continued to recede further into the darkness inside her. She was alone and had no way out!
It was Sukanya’s tenth birthday. Taru dropped her school that day, Sukanya was wearing her birthday dress. She was also carrying a bag of sweets to distribute in her class. Taru fondly looked at her daughter, gave her a kiss and a tight hug before she went running to meet her friends. She looked back once to see Taru still standing and looking at her.
After school Sukanya was promised a treat by her father. Sukanya loved her father and he spoilt her too, by showering her with gifts and chocolates. As the school bus rolled in Sukanya jumped out of the bus and ran to her house. She rang the doorbell and when the maid opened the door she rushed to greet her mother and tell her stories from school. But mom was not around. No not in the bedroom, not in the bathroom and not in the kitchen. Where is she? Sukanya thought. The maid informed she has gone out and left a note on the dining table. Expecting a surprise she rushed to read the note. It read.
Sukanya i love you.
But i cannot spread joy if there’s nothing left inside me.
I’m sorry but i need to go and find that joy back to start living a life with you.
Love you always.
Sukanya’s mind could not fathom much, she only understood the fact that her mom has gone away.
There are many such cases happening all around us. When we read or hear about them we become judgmental and critical. In the lurch is one innocent life.
What are your thoughts? Was it wrong for Taru to leave? Was it right if Taru had stayed and become clinically depressed? Are kids a solution to a stronger marriage? Should Taru’s parents had intervened and listened to their daughter early?
Please do respond.
(All images sourced from Google)