An identity of sorts when you are literally washed onto the shores of a foreign land. So there, I decided I was Indian, travelled the world and a Bong at heart. I also made up my mind not to restrict my interactions to the sub-categories I belong to.
Easy, I thought would be to make friends who share my sub-categories, Indian and Bong! So, I decided to put my effort to open a communication channel with the others. It was hard, needless to say that, as we humans, have a herd mentality and like to belong. Anyone not sharing the commonalities did not belong to the herd. I however persisted, imbibing the social norms, trying to read topics frequently discussed and many more of those nuances. Success, I would say was reasonable, made a few ‘friends’, got into social groups and actually met really, genuine individuals. It was eye-opening, as that gave a window to see the world differently, have a new perspective and review myself in that light. I came away enlightened.
In India we are constantly surrounded by people, that is obvious because it is the second most populated country in the world! Well, that also, in my case, translated to hardly ever finding the space to discover myself, my innate nature and capabilities. There is never any need to ‘try and make’ friends as there is always someone to have a chat with, so that art is really for those who are self-aware. Needless to say I was not, I thought that is second nature to me!
So, after all that ‘trying’ to bond with foreigners, I decided to take some rest and go back to those people with whom I share my sub-categories. With this purpose in mind I enter the domain of the NRI world. To, the uninitiated NRI means Non-Resident Indians. Lo behold! What do I find? I simply can’t make friends! Yes, I do have common topics and common ground, with some I do have a shared past. However, I find all that commonality was actually not helping, too much shared past puts a spanner in the works, even before it has begun. Bonding in this space was even harder. I came away disappointed and fatigued.
There could be various reasons for this, however what I would like to point out is the art of making friends. I am not alone, as I try to inter mingle, I see reflections of that amongst many. Expectations and our past, whether we knew someone or whether we relapse to our old ways, leads to a lot of disappointment in this group.
My thoughts are, mostly everybody in this social subset of NRI’s have had experiences similar to mine. Mostly would have tried to step out of their comfort zone to be friends with strangers, and realised the ‘art of making friends’ along with the many hardships that come on the way, then why is it so difficult to transfer that skill and experience to this set? I do not have the answers yet. However, this kind of strangeness, creates this unique motley group called the NRI, of which now I’m a part and not simply an observer.
pulsingthoughts 