My rainbows turn 8.

Already!

In your pink cheeks and wrinkled brows you came to me, fragile and tiny, barely a human. It took me a while darling, yes to realise that I have now become a mother. Motherhood, a mantle, heavy and demanding at that moment, as I went through sleepless phases, battling my body’s urge to rest and recoup. Notwithstanding were your little, necessary demands, food, warmth, sleep, and a hug. Oh! The hug, that made my day, my bright spot. The hug, the trusting look, the cries of happiness, even before you could talk, that made my motherhood not so heavy any more.

Well, you grew and grew, at times I desperately wanted you to stop growing at 4. That age, when cuteness was overloaded, that age when i could still bundle you up and carry you over my back. That age, when your words were still not clear, they sounded amazing though! That age, when you believed without conviction that there was a ghost, fairy and little elves everywhere. So I went along on this magical make believe world, with you both. We spotted fairies in the gardens, elves in the apartment and when night arrived, ghosts were in every dark corner.So, then my house got flooded with stuffed bears, dogs and rabbits. Your comfort creatures, your little imaginary friends. I would sit look at both of you weave tales and play. You would start falling out, tears would flow and hurt would show up in your eyes, but a cuddle, some words of love and both of you would be ready for another play time.

School happened, friends were formed and life got a bit complicated when you discovered that everybody is not good to you, that all were different and you had to get along with all sorts. Your commitments and your interests grew more, and activities piled on. I love the way you dance, you sing and you play the piano. My darlings, life is a menagerie of tasks, some not likeable at all. Strength and determination however will get you through at each stage, and of course coupled with a strong sense of belief, in yourself.

Today my motherhood is like a shawl around me, warm, filled with love and strong. All this comes from you both. You have given me so much, more than I had ever wanted. My life is a rainbow, more so because you choose to spread colours everyday. So, as you turn 8, I celebrate that day when God gave me a sliver of a rainbow to brighten up my world. Happy birthday darlings!

 

The heir

 

A tiny tale idea:

 

Two grandmothers lived in the east. One, a symbol of compassion, the other a symbol of strength. Together they were a protective net for little Jay. Jay was secure. The years went by, little Jay was little no more, the grandmothers were very old ladies. Jay was still the light of their lives. The compassionate grandmother fell ill and died unexpectedly, surrounded by love and care. The strong grandmother turned very old and died of old age, alone in a room. Jay was heartbroken, but now he was an adult, he had a heart filled with compassion and lead a demeanour, filled with strength. Jay embodied both the qualities, he was truly the heir.

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My growing girl, my growing love!

It is dinner time and mom has served dinner, some puri (Indian fried bread) and aloo (potatoes). Yummy! After polishing off her food, Mithu demanded some dessert. “Oh, well! There was some chocolate cake in the fridge. Do you want some?”, asked Ma. ‘I am not into chocolate these days!’ That was the prompt reply from a 7 year old.

Mithu stood in front of the mirror and pulled and brushed her long hair. She wanted a fancy hair-do whereas mom did not. Mom wanted to sort her hair out into bunches. ‘No, I need a top-knot, that makes me look tall and thin!’

The Television is on and Mamma and Mithu are watching some programme on buying and selling of beautiful houses. Mithu is just giving her mom company! (That’s how she puts it).

Mom, “Mithu , when you grow up will you buy your mom a house like that?”

Mithu,”You already have a house and if I  buy you one , how will I buy my own? There will be no money left!”

Mom,”Ok, so can I live with you, when you buy such a house?”

Mithu,”I will buy a one bedroom house, where will you sleep?”

Whoops! Mithu has her future planned. Mom, is sad for a while as Mithu quickly comes over and whispers “If you don’t mind sharing my bed!”

Life with a bubbly, imaginative, carefree girl is so much fun. It is like stepping on rose petals and flying in the air. Her imagination is like a wing to my set, adult mind. Don’t think its all rosy, Mithu can be annoying too! But that’s something I put up with to enjoy the many flights of fancy I take with her.

My growing girl, my growing love!

A poet’s labour of love for Festive Riot

Amidst the darkness and light that filled you, you hung on to hope, as you lay your mind on the first sunrise of the new year… and in that moment, you promised your dreams that you would never stop trying… you promised your heart that you would never stop loving… and in that moment, you […]

via Promise – Published in Festive Riot — forgottenmeadows

Adjustments galore

The year changes again and here we are in 2017. Time flies I realise, as I see my children grow up, imbibe and change each day. It is not evident obviously but a conversation here and a word there does indicate the winds of change. Amidst all  this here I stand miles away from my country, in a foreign land where I have a home.

It was more than 3 years ago when we decided to step out as a family and experience life abroad. I arrived with confused expectations and with a certain amount of adventure. Living in a new place is always daunting but living in an unknown place, faraway from home knowing no one, is all the more scary. Well, it was not exactly the case with me, I did know one other family.

The place taught me a lot, made me value certain things a lot more. Instilled some other things in me. Kicked in my survival instincts and made me turn inwards for happiness, comfort and peace. Always being surrounded by family and friends till then, did not help me discover myself, my true likes and dislikes. Craving for random people always to fill up the blank spaces in my life, I was rid of it. Having said that it does not indicate that I don’t need my family, quite the opposite, I need them and value them more.

Living abroad does have its perks and its downfalls and I believe a lot has been said about that already. What I wish to  talk about today is the matter of great adjustment. An adjustment, when people here view me and don’t realise that my English is as strong as theirs, maybe in some cases even better, being a non-native English speaker. ‘Non-native!!!’ That word never existed in my vocabulary till now. That adjustment when I apply for jobs in my skill area and meet with rejection every single day. So much, that most people consider switching domains altogether. Adjustment rings in when I am unable to get jokes and participate in a conversation naturally, because I don’t look the part. Adjustment sets in when I have to upgrade myself to fit into a professional role, either by taking a course       (which I have already done) or explore something else.

Well, some may state that these are good adjustments and if I don’t do this I might turn into a dinosaur. I cannot debate about the rights and wrongs I can only tell you about the fact that at this age, with already 10 years of work experience behind me, 2 kids and lots of professional degrees later, this situation is tantamount to climbing a mountain with no end in sight. Now, this is just me, rest of my family are fine. Good schools, good lifestyle ensures my children are doing good. There is a saying ‘there are no free lunches’, so maybe I am paying the cost.

I could go back home, yes that would be fine! But I live in a unit and my own discomfort cannot be the single deciding factor. So, now what?  So, as the year unravels in front of my eyes, I would wait and work towards another ascent. 2017, I wish you to be the year of fulfilment.