Summer

A light floods the room even before my eyes have fully opened.

A cacophony outside, birds call, insects buzz and an occasional bark.

My eyes flutter open, reluctantly, the lids still heavy with the promise of sleep,

the time on the clock reads half past five.

I roll on to my side to catch forty winks before the alarm actually rings,

to find my back all sweaty from lying in bed.

The ceiling fan whirs on as if to say ‘I’m breathless can I stop now…’,

it offers not much, as the air in the room is warm.

I stir lazily, the promise of a new day, the promise of warmth,

my sleep finally broken by a fly who has come in to say ‘Hello’!

Summer, in all its splendour has sent all her messengers into my bedroom,

to embrace me in its warmth and light.

Summer, I have been waiting for, to stare at the blue sky and be grateful for the light breeze.

Summer, most importantly to look forward to lazy days and doing nothing by the clock.

‘It is summertime and the weather is fine..’, chimes a famous song and I so agree with it!

Memories and moments

Friends are like seasons they come and go,

I have trouble wrapping my head around this.

When I take in someone as my ‘friend’ and not just a mere ‘acquaintance’

I give it my all, my emotions and even that extra mile.

However something happens and that bond snaps

never to regain its original strength.

I am left with memories and happy moments but also with a dent in my heart.

Time heals but does it truly undent our heart?

Instead it creates a dent in our belief and perception….there is no such thing as friendship!

We are merely floating through…

Recently I have gone through severe mental anguish as I see a close friendship wither away….

I tried to water it but a bond between two people needs both to water the same plant.

It’s all in vain.

It’s all in memories and moments gone by.

Today I noticed…my five days!

Monday – A crow sitting outside my house, pitch black and reminded me of the book ‘Crow Country’ by Kate Constable, where the protagonist could speak to the crow, the book is all about Aboriginal culture and history in Australia. It came out of somewhere yesterday and now I notice it more frequently. I wonder what it is going on with it, building a nest maybe, since it is spring time here! It looks ominous to me at times, as it cocks its head and seems to listen in to our conversation. My ancestors believed that a dead person could return as a crow, my modern 21st century mind rejects the idea.

Tuesday – The sun it shines so bright, it hits my eyes as I drive on my way to work. The car is not my comfort zone, I drive for purpose and not pleasure. I enter the grade 9 classroom, a little slow today, maybe because the sun shines so bright it makes me lethargic. Quadratic equations flashes before my eyes, the numbers twist and turn and it takes a while to focus back and sort them out! Strange mental circus it was today.

Wednesday – A trip to the dentist, I find it disturbing. Not for me but my child. The long chair, with fancy equipments attached to it, makes me nervous. After the visit a strange relaxation washes over me, why do these things bother me so much?

Thursday – As I started to make a sandwich in the morning, I noticed only the sides of a loaf of bread remains. My mind travels back to my childhood when I remember my baba actually wanting to eat those sides, buttering it up richly and savouring every bite. I thought that was normal, now there’s no one in my house wanting to eat them, I take a sad look and throw them away. In that moment I miss my father!

Friday – There lies a hamper full of chocolate in my staff room, to be shared. The Lindt balls in their shiny wrappers of blue, green, pink and red are my favourite. They make my heart sing and fill with happiness, much like love. However, today I curb my desire as a quote rings through my head, ‘You love the food but does the food love you!’……it’s time I pay heed to it.

That’s a wrap for this week as the weekend draws in. Weekends are unstructured days, which could be fun and also could be a source of anxiety. Which one, you ask? Oh, its never quite certain…..I have to wait for it to creep up on me. Too much fun, I don’t have the stillness within me to write, too much anxiety it is a story for another day!

Happy Weekend 🙂